Why do people have crushes? Maybe because of attraction? Well, I have a different reason for having crushes. Sure, attraction is already a factor but my main reason for having crushes (for my current situation) was to forget someone.
Emo. I know.
But I did it out of desperation. As said in the song by The Script entitled Six Degrees Of Separation, "Anything to take it from your mind, but it won't go. You're doing all these things out of desperation"
When you're in pain, most definitely you'd do anything to take it away. Fix yourself.
This was my remedy. I tried to find a crush. I forced myself to like someone. Well, at least somehow, the five crushes I have now weren't much forced. I started to look for them around November.
After having my crushes, I felt happy. I felt better. I started to forget but my best friend told me that I was in a hurry. That I did not let go of the pain yet, I just covered it up. She was right. I had a talk with her. I realized that I haven't completely forgotten about it. I was still in pain. The talk with my best friend removed the bandage over my open wound, exposing it. The pain was excruciating. I cried.
But that made the pain slowly go away. Coz finally, instead of covering it up again, I tried to let it heal.
Still going through the healing process. It's getting better. The five crushes thing is working. I'm distracted. I'm not thinking about it as usual as before. I feel the pain subsiding. Finally.
The thing about this is, I feel I'm over reacting. Am I?
I just want to forget. Forget about my feelings. My feelings for you. YOU.
